If it's like a job, obviously the pay is seeing my kids learn team work and find things that they are good at and make them happy. If it's like a job, the coach is like the boss telling you you have to come in early on a Saturday when you rather sleep. If it's like a job, the other moms/dads are like the annoying co workers that you want to fucking cuss out and punch in the throat, but can't for fear of being fired. The beginning of the season is like your first day of work. Who will be there and who can you buddy up with to make the time at the ol' coal mine enjoyable?
Yesterday, I spent 8 hours at a Destination Imagination tournament and an hour at a basketball tournament. By the end of the day, I was so tired and I realized it was because that was a LONG time to hold back my tongue and rage. Of course, there are some parents that you love to see there because it makes the time more enjoyable and they are genuinely cool...like when you go into work and see you are working with someone cool and you do the sigh of relief. But more often than not, you are forced to sit next to the most obnoxious people on the face of the planet and the only thing that is stopping you from "keepsin it real" is the paycheck (your kids). The eye rolls and the passive aggressive remarks run so rampant, you swear you are at a middle school slumber party.
Seriously, you think that bullying and self importance is only from the kids? No. Sport/Activity moms/dads are the kings and queens of this AND they throw more shade and attitude than any child on the court. This lady at the DI competition was so nasty to us over what table we were sitting at that her own husband told her to knock it off. Another lady at the basketball tourney was so obnoxious to the refs, that another parent APOLOGIZED to us and told us she was embarrassed she was on the same "team" as that mom. It's like they are so self involved and everything has to be perfect for their kid, that they don't realize that they are making an ass of themselves and making things less perfect for their kid in the process.
Here's the deal, parents. It's not that serious. Yes, your kids practice and work hard. You don't want to see them slighted in the least. Your kids learn and they try and they fail and they succeed. Did you see the first two words of the previous sentence? YOUR KIDS. Not you, Boo. Sorry, large jabba the hutt looking lady screaming at the team...I don't see your ass out there working hard...so I don't feel it's appropriate to come down on some kids who at least made the effort. I also don't feel it's right to talk shit about the other team of kids who probably ran more laps in that one game than you have in your 30s. No, you are not going to agree with every call the refs or judges make, but I really don't see you out there volunteering your time. Part of team sports and activities is the kids learning humility and that sometimes things aren't fair. It's how they deal with it that shows their character. I think parents get so wrapped up in making this perfect pinterest life for kids that they don't realize they are fucking it up in the process by acting like self righteous bitches.
I know I have ranted about sports/activities in the past...but only if it's something that truly defeats the purpose of it. Like when my oldest daughter was not being "taught" the sport and her own team played around her instead of with her. The difference is that I didn't sit in the stands screaming and carrying on like a hillbilly. I actually had a discussion with the coach who saw my concerns and did his best to fix it. A DISCUSSION, not a screaming match. A few years ago, I felt myself getting sucked into the very mentality I am ranting about today, but I realized it and took a step back. I want to teach my kids to do their very best and to not let the team down..but I don't want to teach them that how they do at that one game or competition is going to define them. I do cheer my team on when they play and get involved..but if you watch carefully, you will also see me cheering on the other team as well. Good for all of them for putting themselves out there and trying.
It's not just sporting events and activities, either. I find it very hard to get along with a lot of parents in general sometimes, especially in the early years of my kids lives. I had my first daughter around the time when internet message boards and parenting clubs were first coming about. The amount of judging and hand slapping parents did from behind the keyboard was astounding. Then, people were more bold and did it in person. "Oh...you didn't breastfeed? You do know that breastfeeding is the best and you really should ...blah blah blah." Bitch, I know how my titties work...it's not your business how I use them. Then it got to the point where I really didn't say anything about anything...for fear of opening a can of worms. "Oh, you really shouldn't let your kid eat pop tarts..do you know how much sugar...blah blah blah." Um, ho, I was lazy and it was edible. Fuck you.
Parents judge so much, it makes me sick. They judge their kids, the coaches, other parents. If people would just chill the fuck out and let the kids be kids and make mistakes and experience things, maybe kids wouldn't be such demanding assholes sometimes. Let them experience failure. Let them experience disappointment. It's not your job as a parent to make everything cushy and right for them. It's your job as a parent to show them real life...even if that means telling your kid to suck it up if a bad call was made in a basketball game. Even if there is no place to sit at the Destination Imagination tournament. Sit on the fucking floor. It's Destination Imagination...imagine a fucking soft pillow bed to sit on, hahaha!
It might be a child's basketball competition or a child's academic competition on the surface, but we all know its a parenting competition at the core...who can have the most bragging rights about their little angel. I remember at one cheer competition a few years ago, our team didn't place at all. I remember saying out loud, "Oh, that's okay." The looks of the parents around me could have killed me. But I don't regret it. It WAS okay. They worked hard and looked great and the other teams made a ton of mistakes. The judges just didn't feel it was 1st place material or that the other teams' mistakes were a big deal. OH well. It's life...just like when you work your ass off and didn't get the raise or the promotion. I'm sure you don't go stomping your feet and crying to your boss. Nope, you just work harder and hope for the best the next time.
A healthy dose of competition is one thing...but a big dose of asshole fuckery is another. You want to know why kids are how they are today? Demanding 60000 K a year and a corner office right out of college or demanding a brand new car at 16 years old? It's because parents are teaching them if you show your ass enough, you can get what you want. Good job parents...good job.
